Beta's

Yesterday morning I had to go in for a follow up blood draw to make sure my levels were going down. A good result is less than 5. Mine were 8! So in three weeks they have gone from 6000 to 8. Which is pretty good if you ask me. They did ask me to use protection till my next cycle then come in for another blood draw to make sure we are at 0. That is where i get frustrated! Do I really have to not try this month! Not that we were exactly planning on trying but we were just going to play the let what happens happens game. We would have to go buy protection too. So i say screw them and I know my body and I know it is back to normal so I'm just going to do what I want to do this month. If something does happen Ill just smile and say OOPS :)

Building a Deck (Part 1)

This past Saturday Matt and I started to build our deck in the back yard. I have wanted this deck for over 2 years now and we are just now getting around to it. Thankfully we got and escrow overage check from over payment so we had the extra money to make it possible. Here are just a few pictures. We already have a lot more done on it but Saturday all I took were the layout pictures. Tomorrow I will post more on part 2. :) The deck will be 24ft x 10ft in size. Everywhere that you see stakes is where a post will be for extra support.

Shanda

Having a rough day...

Since the miscarriage I have seemed to be fine, but yesterday I broke down on the phone with my mom crying and it brought up a lot of emotions. I know the m/c was not my fault and nothing I could have done to prevent it. yada yada yada!! But I still feel like I failed. I failed to produce and have a healthy baby. It really just sucks! Then to top it all off my sister in law is pregnant with a healthy baby due just 10 days after I would have been due. Although I know I should be happy for her it is hard when I should be in her shoes right now and I'm not. I'm empty. I just cant imagine how I will feel come October when were at the hospital waiting on her to have her baby knowing that I should be in that same position too. Maybe I will be pregnant again and it wont bother me one bit and maybe I will be so bitter that I wont even want to be up there around a new baby. I guess time will tell. On another note we have been staying busy working on the house. We have started project #2 building a deck. More on that to come in a second :) Sorry for the doom and gloom today just feeling rough. I think its the damn weather!!

Oh champ!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Here is what happens....

When you don't wear socks to Abbeys Playtown....

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Garage floor

Here is a picture of the garage floor. I will post more once we get the gym equipment moved :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

DFW Moms Playdate

Well we had our first play date this past weekend at Abbeys Playtown in Grand Prairie. If you have never been there go check it out now!! It is this cool place with toys everywhere. They have a trampoline, roller coaster slides, jump houses, big train blow up that you crawl through, dress up area, kitchen and play house, they also have swings and a toddler area for the really small kids. It was a blast for all of the kids and we plan to go back in a month and we booked it for Addy's birthday!! Not sure who loved it more the kids or the adults. We were all playing just as hard.


Many thanks to everyone who came out!!


Here are some pictures of our visit!!

Richard playing with Addison, Kynli and Madison

Kynli and Maddy

Kynli looking at her Dad

Maddy and Hayden

Addy and her Dad

Wow...

Things have just on from crazy to crazier with our family!
Some are good crazy and some not so much!!

First the not so pretty! My mom was admitted to the hospital Wednesday with chest pains and was admitted. Her doctor has been out of town so finally yesterday another doctor performed her surgery. Where they go in through where your leg meets your body and scope up to the heart. My mom has had this done twice before and already has two stints in her heart arteries. Well one of the previous stints closed and there was blockages before and after the original stint. So they ballooned open the original one and placed two additional stints below and above the stint. Now she should be fine and they are hoping to release her from the hospital today. Now the doctors recommend for her to quit smoking cause it is causing to much stress on her heart. So we are going to try and beg her for her grand kids sake to knock the smoking off :) Well see how that goes!

Now on to some much funner things!! My sisters and I have decided to try and create a group for moms. We will host play dates and moms nights in and out. We hope to make this a place for all types of moms. (working, SAHM, and WAHM) As a working mom I find that there aren't near enough play date opportunities on the weekends for us and our kids. So why not just create our own and invite all of our friends with kids :)

Were hoping to branch out from just our friends and add some new people to the mix as well. So if you live near the DFW area and want to come hang out with us please check out our website www.dfwmomsclub.webs.com and like us on face book.

Pictures of our play date in the next post :)

Another thing that has been going on at our house is we are working on sprucing up the house a bit. This past weekend we painted our garage floors. Why the garage you ask?!? Because whenever Matt and I have another little one we will need the room her currently uses as his gym and so that will all be moving to the garage, but we didn't want to just shove it out there. We wanted to extend our living space to the garage. So were painting the floors, bought some nice racks for the wall that will hold all of our lawn equipment, hanging some mirrors for a more gym appeal and were also going to buy a weight rack this weekend so it will be organized as well. The garage turned out so awesome it might make me want to work out out there :) (but probably not he he)

Sorry

For those of you who read my blog a little bit ago I apologise for my rude remarks. Not to who they were aimed towards but for saying them at all. I don't want this to be my lash out source. This blog is meant to be my journal for life, my daughter, and family. Yes it may not always be peachy but I don't want it to be my mean side.

I hope things start looking up but a lot is going on so far in 2011. Hopefully things look up.

I also kindly ask if you are reading this and using info I give you on my or my family's life to be spiteful please don't. I don't keep up with you if were not friends so please don't keep up with me. My life really is none of your business anymore.

Thanks!
Shanda

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Megan has a blog!!!!

Hey family and friends! Please go check out my sisters blog! I created it for her so she better use it. Please go over there and beg her to begin posting soon :)

www.thetaylorfamily-megan.blogspot.com

Thanks!

Awww...

I am a member of a fourm for women who are trying to conceive, pregnant, moms and just recently women who are dealing with a loss. One of the ladies well all of them but one in particular made me this image to use as my signature. How sweet is this :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

My little softball player :)

I so can't wait till Addison is old enough to play softball. Here she is learning to play with her t-ball. Got alot to learn but she gets the concept :) Love her!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

And like that...

It's all over.

I think my body is finally done with this miscarriage. Now I just need my hormone levels to go back down. Took a pregnancy test tonight to see and its still positive so still have some time before its completely out of my system I guess. Heard it can take a few weeks though so I'm not worried. I'll have a doctors appointment next week some time to follow up and make sure all is well. It is nice to know my body did something right for a change and this went as smoothly as possible.

Now to decide when to try again... :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

One of those days...

I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm going to blame it on my hormones cause I'm a woman and I can but just feel in a funk that I cant seem to shake.

Today for some reason seems like one of the worse days. I'm really tired (damn time change) and I miss my little girl. Most days I'm fine, but then again most days are normal days where I drop her off and I know she will be there till Matt or I pick her up. Today however is different. My sister who watches her has to go in to the office for her yearly review. The same office I used to call home but now cringe when I hear the name mentioned. Well while she is doing that she has to bring my daughter with her.

So my daughter gets to mingle and hang with my old employers. So I guess that is why today is so hard for me. If I just had a never ending stack of vacation days today would have been one of the days I took off. The thought of her in a place that brings back bad memories for me makes me want to break down and cry alone at my desk :(

Gosh this year just gets better and better!

For some good news though we booked our Vacation trips for the year a few weeks ago. In early April we will be going to San Antonio just the three of us and enjoying Sea World, River Walk and maybe even the Alamo. I'm really looking forward to just a vacation us three with no interruptions. May just leave my phone at home so I can really get away from it all. 23 days till San Antonio!!! :)

Then in May we will be going on the big family trip to the lake. Its becoming a tradition for the Larsen side of the family. My dad so kindly books the rooms and then us kids provide and cook the dinners for the weekend. This year I wont be able to stay as long but any time is better than no time. Down side is I will need to find someone to watch Addison for the days that my sister is down at the lake and unable to watch Addison. She will be there Thursday thru Monday and I think I will only be able to go Fri-Sun or Sat-Mon.... So I need someone for 2 days. Maybe Matt can take off and stay home with her.... Well see...

Sorry no pictures for this post. I haven't used my actual camera in a long time so all that I post are from my cell phone which to me takes better pictures!

Pictures for post below

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Wonderful Sunday with craptastic ending....

We had a great day today slept in, ate breakfast, took Addison for her first haircut, went to home depot (more on this below), store for odds and ends, braums for lunch, nap for everyone, playing in the backyard, dinner, bath and finally bed for Addy and quiet time for Matt and I.

Overall a wonderful day till I got the text about my check :( Bummer is it will be an actual check on Tuesday not direct deposit and I have bills that automatically come out of my account every 15th. So they will come out before I have time to take my check to the bank. Luckily my dad can help me out for a day so I don't overdraft but still sucks :(

Now on to home depot. When did this store start ranking up there with Target. I can't get enough of home depot. There so many ideas and I can't wait to have enough money to do all the upgrades we want on the house. Right now Matt and I try to splurge on one thing a year for the house. This year we may actually build the deck I have been dreaming of. We are outside people so having a nice place to hang out is important to me and to prove it here is Addison playing in the yard today. :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

First Haircut

Addison got her first haircut today at Cool Cuts 4 Kids. Her hair hair was getting so long in her eyes and she won't wear hair clips or bows of any kind so we got a trim. She did s wonderful job and sat still for the most part. I love this little girl so much. Here are some pictures.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

testing

Made myself a signature for my blog just testing it out :)

No good dirty rotten day....

So today has been one of those days! First off I started miscarrying yesterday so that hasnt been the greatest. Cramps off and on but not to much passing at this point yet but starting.

So that is still going on today which makes me feel miserable.

Then my old work is still getting my emails. Which is fine but for some reason my old savings account that I havent used in months sent them my statement. ugh. So I had to talk to them which I could care less to do.

Then to top it all off my Addison is sick. Fever got up to 102 today but thankfully my sister ROCKS and continued to watch her so I didnt have to take off. I would love to be at home with my sick kiddo but I have been out alot lately after finding out we lost the baby so I really need to conserve my vacation days. Matt is leaving work now to go get her :)

So that has been my day thus far. Hopefully nothing else goes wrong today or I might just break down and cry.

McDonald's is HELL

As I sit here watching my sweet girl eat her chicken nuggets. I watch all of these other kids run around like little maniacs. I thought this would be a good place for us to have a mommy daughter night but quite frankly I'm scared to let her go play. These kids will trample her to death. Even though the age for the play area is 0-3 these kids are quite obviously older than three so we may just sit and watch.

While sitting here for ten minutes we have already seen a grown girl poop her pants, and a boy go up to another persons table and drink someone's drink. Not his own!!! All while his mom watched.

We may not be coming back EVER!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

options

Well our doctor gave us two options today. Wait it out and miscarry naturally or have a d&c. Gave us pros and cons of each. The kicker is with my insurance it will cost us 2000 dollars for the d&c. So in my mind I know of a million other things I want to do with my money and a surgery is not one of them. So waiting we will do. Hopefully it won't take too long.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

It's all ok...

Or atleast that's what I'm supposed to say. However that's not how I feel but if I act okay then the people around me don't have to feel awkward.

I want to be okay and with time I will be but part of me needs to be a little self centered and think about myself till this is all over.

So I booked us a family vacation for the first of April and I'm planning on giving myself a spa day on Sunday.

In the mean time I will look you in the eye and tell you im great, fantastic, perfect just cause its easier that way...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

It's over

Well got the call from the nurse this morning that my numbers only went up a tiny amount not even close to doubling like they should have. I have to go in Thursday for another u/s just to confirm and make a plan on how to get rid of the pregnancy.

I'm obviously upset but I do have Addison and a great support system so all will be ok. Now to decide to try again or wait a while. After a loss like this I'm not sure I want to try again right away. It's way harder than I imagined dealing with a loss like this.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7